Funny Things

{For the past several months, I've been randomly typing conversations with the boys and saving them here.  With all the seriousness we've had lately, I thought it would be a good time to share some of their funny sayings!  I'll come back and add to this as they crack us up with more funny stuff!}

We all want to remember the things our children say.  I love their sweet little voices.  I love hearing them say new words (most of them!).  I love witnessing them experiment with their voices as they discover whispering, yelling (for a little bit), and most of all, their laughter.  My boys crack me up.  Even when I'm soooo frustrated with the things I let get me down (messy house, two-year old behavior, five-year old behavior, scheduling everything we have to do, etc), they still make me laugh.  Here's a few examples I've been keeping track of just so I don't someday forget.  Hope you laugh along with me:


One night as I was heading out to pick up a pizza for supper:
me:  "Zachary, do you want to ride with me to Papa John's?"
Z:  "Yes, I'm tired of looking at Eli's orange shirt with Mickey & Donald on it!"


As we were leaving the house to run errands:
me:  "Hey, dingbat, you forgot your jacket."
Z:  "No, you're the dingbat for helping me."
I have no idea what he meant but the silly tone he used made it hilarious.


Walking through Sears to burn off some energy as we waited in line for Reds autographs at the Bloomington Mall:
Z:  "Wow!  This must be the NICEST store I've EVER been in!!!!" (very loudly and with lots of enthusiasm....lots of people heard)


Zachary telling Aunt Kendra about getting our picture taken with the mayor later that afternoon for CHD Awareness Week:
me:  "Tell Kendra what we're doing this afternoon."
Z:  "Having our pictures taken."
K:  "Why?"
Z:  "Ummm, about sick hearts."
me:  "Tell her who else is in the picture."
Z:  (totally serious)  "Mommy, Daddy, Eli, me and a mirror" (mayor).


Eli and I were walking through WalMart while Bryan and Zachary checked out some stuff.  To occupy him I was asking him what sounds animals make:
me:  "What does a doggie say?"
E:  "woof woof"
me:  "What does a kitty cat say?"
E:  "meow"
me:  "What does a duck say?"
E:  "quack"
me:  "What does a cow say?"
E:  "moo"
me:  "What does mommy say?"
E:  "moo" (insert mischievous smile)


Zachary played basketball through the YMCA.  Bryan was his coach.  Most of their practices and games were at Lena Dunn, a local elementary school, but one practice was at the YMCA.  This is how Zachary explained the change to us:
Z:  "We aren't having practice at our usual stadium.  Usually we practice at Lena Dunn Stadium, but this time we have to go to the YMCA Stadium." 
I love that my five year old thinks he plays basketball on a six foot goal in a stadium.  Before his first game last year he thought the lights would go out and a spotlight would shine on each player during the starting lineups (they don't even have starting lineup announcements in Biddy Ball).  I suppose we set his standards too high by taking him to all the basketball games we did when he was really little!


Zachary loved the Super-Bowl halftime show performance by The Black Eyed Peas.  We recorded it on our DVR and the boys randomly watch and get their crazy groove-thing on.  Sometimes instead of dancing they play music along with the show.  This particular night they danced.  After watching it twice and dancing both times:
Z:  "Whew!  I'm as sweaty as a hot tire!"


Both boys like to help with laundry.  They like the sorting process, falling into the piles, loading the washer, and switching clothes from the washer to the dryer.  This particular evening, as Zachary walked through the dining room carrying a random pillowcase, I asked Zachary if he'd help me move clothes to the dryer.  His response?  "No, thanks.  I have to practice juggling."


The four of us were having late night snuggle time on the couch.  Eli was on Bryan's lap,  and Zachary & I were curled up at the other end of the couch.  We were trying to get them to fall asleep (so we could watch the second half of IU!), but Zachary was fixated on what was for lunch the next day.  He kept coming up with a new option, despite the fact that we'd asked him to stop worrying about it. 
Z:  "I like to ask questions.  If I ask questions I get answers.  I like answers about my food because they tell me the answers to my questions.  But I don't have any questions about how the Earth spins around because I already know that."


Duck Dynasty has become a favorite show around here.  We really don't watch it that much, but when we do we always laugh.  Eli started saying "Hey, Jack!" like Uncle Si on the show.  Now that has translated to many of his phrases starting with "Hey (insert phrase)"  Examples:  "Hey, no!"  "Hey, mine!"  "Hey, bye-bye!"


One evening over supper Zachary was day dreaming.  We asked what he was thinking about and he said, "I wonder who my wife will be."  He provided a short discussion about who he had in mind (name withheld for privacy).  I told him he didn't have to decide now, he could wait until he was a little older.  "Maybe wait until second grade?" I asked.  He replies, "No, Mommy, I'm ready now.  I'll ask her tomorrow."  So then I asked if he knew what it meant to have a wife.  He says, "Yes, marriage.  We get married."  I asked if he knew that meant he would leave Mommy and Daddy's house and go live in a house with his wife.  He very calmly laid down his fork, folded his hands and leaned forward.  His reply was "Yes, Mommy.  It will be hard and it will be sad."  Then he picked up his fork and ate like nothing serious had just happened.  I stopped talking about it then because I was afraid I would cry!!!
  ***addendum -- He did not ask her the next day.  It's been several days and he hasn't mentioned it again.  


This one doesn't involve an actual discussion, but things we realized Zachary wasn't saying correctly.  All three were said in the same conversation and Bryan and I were having a really hard time controlling our laughter by the end of it.
Z: "maparoni" =  macaroni
Z: "apple spider" = apple cider
Z: "bengal" = bagel (this one took us longer to figure out than the others)


Eli must have heard someone use the phrase "You ding-dong!" because he says it all the time now.  Except what he says doesn't sound like "ding-dong," it's more like "ping-pong."  Sometimes it comes out "ping-pom" which is funnier.  Even funnier was the day he yelled it at me with his pacifier in his mouth and it sounded exactly like he called me a tampon.  When he saw the startled looks on our faces, he had to yell it again.  Of course there were many people around when he did that so who knows what people think we're teaching our toddler!