You would think I'd know better by now.
After a busy day (physically & mentally) I had some time to myself this evening. I've been DVRing some Christmas shows. Some for the boys and some for me. Tonight I recorded Blake Shelton's Not So Family Christmas special that aired on NBC. Zachary loves The Voice so I considered letting him watch Blake's show tonight. Instead I watched it by myself after all the men in the house were asleep. I'm so glad Zachary didn't watch it! It was a hilarious show. I laughed so hard and it felt really good. However, it was DEFINITELY not appropriate for my five year old!
Then came my bad decision. I watched one of the movies I had recorded on Hallmark. It's called "The Christmas Heart." The description said something along the lines of "a neighborhood bands together to support a young boy who desperately needs a heart transplant." When I saw the description on our guide, I had to record it. I didn't know if I would watch it, but I needed it on my DVR just in case I felt the need to watch it.
I don't know if I thought my euphoric feeling from the Christmas special would float me through a movie that hit so close to home or if I was just on a power trip because I had total dominance of the remote control for the tv with DVR, but I watched it. The whole thing. My Blake Shelton Christmas Special happy bubble officially burst.
The movie itself was okay. Too many parts were Hollywood-ified, but the point was made: You just have to believe.
*Spoiler Alert* In the movie, a 15 year old basketball player collapses during practice. After being rushed to the hospital it is discovered that he has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (thickening cardiac muscles resulting in a weakened, enlarged heart). It's determined he needs a transplant within a week or he won't live. The teen's younger brother is struggling with his belief in Santa. He says he'll believe if Santa brings his only wish...a new heart for his big brother. Miraculously a perfect match became available within five days. The dilemma is that there's a major snowstorm in the area & all the medical transport helicopters are stuck at outlying locations. Luckily a pilot dressed as Santa has his own plane and he & his copilot fly the doctor who is in charge of transporting the heart in an Igloo cooler through the storm. Unfortunately they can't land since the airport has shut down. The insistent pilot says "this isn't the Hindenburg I'm flying, all I need is 500 feet and some light to get this thing down!" Suddenly they spot a makeshift runway on the street below them which is actually the street the dying boy lives on. It's a neighborhood tradition to light thousands of luminaries along their street at midnight Christmas Eve and this year it was the welcome beacon for the pilot. He lands the plane and a neighbor drives them to the hospital in his truck. The whole crew (including the pilot dressed as Santa Claus carrying the heart in an Igloo cooler) rushes into the waiting room where the parents and doctor are anxiously waiting. When the doctor comes out after the surgery his first words are "he's going to make it." Then the whole family, doctors, nurses, neighbors, and pilot all hug
and sing.
I could make a list a mile long of inaccuracies, but I still watched the entire movie and cried. It was strangely therapeutic. However I'm still awake now, hours later, because I'm afraid of what my "dreams" will bring. Dreams is in quotes because a dream implies something good or positive and that's not what will fill my nocturnal thoughts if I were to sleep. The Hollywood version of what is quite possibly our family's medical reality is still too fresh, too real. I started to watch Blake Shelton's program again, but it wasn't the therapy I needed. This is. I needed to get it out again.
The point of the movie was to believe and keep the faith. It made its point. Faith is something we all struggle with, but I think especially so when we're struggling to come to terms with stressful situations. There are days I'm mad, days where I'm indifferent, and days where I feel alone. Those days don't happen often, but they do happen. That's okay. Every relationship has its ups and downs, faith is no different. I always know we're part of His plan even if there are moments when I feel like the plan sucks.
So anyway, I recommend Blake Shelton's Christmas special for some good music and a good laugh (if you're a grown up!). And I might even go to sleep for a couple hours now that I've watched SportsCenter twice and done this post.
Specific prayer requests:
1) For the real life family we know whose little fighter is waiting in the hospital until his new heart becomes available. Indianapolis isn't Hollywood and their struggles last longer than the two hour movie.
2) For all the heart babies (of all ages!) and their families who are struggling to come to terms with their situation and uncertain futures.
3) For everyone to realize what a big problem Congenital Heart Defects are and how often they happen.
4) For more people to become organ donors, for more funding for research to prevent and treat CHDs, and for more people to donate blood whenever possible.
Thank you all for your support and prayers.
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